“Here is my secret. It’s quite simple. One sees clearly only with the heart. Anything essential is invisible to the eyes.”
-Antoine de Saint-Exupéry (p. 63)
I've had a flare-up with my joints since Monday, and have kinda been feeling bad… like I'm drowning. Like I'm way beyond overwhelmed by my life. The funny thing about feeling that overwhelmed (like you're honestly drowning) is that someone almost always wants to tell you that you're not drowning at all.
Don't get me wrong—they can 100 percent mean well when they say it, because they think it really might help you feel better. Yet they're just like, “No, you're okay. You're not drowning! You're fine. You're okay. You're just looking at it wrong.”
In my mind, I'm just like… wait. Did that really just happen? Did they really just tell me I'm not drowning when I know for a fact that I am doing that poorly?
It's always a bit eerie.
Personally, I think we need to be honest when we're facing hard times, and when we feel like we're drowning. It's important to be able to say something like that and to be believed, you know? It's important to be able to get vulnerable enough to admit that something is so difficult. Many people, myself included, NEED to let out that kind of steam before we burn ourselves. But it can be very hard to actually do it, and actually say it for a million different reasons—but perhaps most often, because you fear the responses.
When I admit how much I am struggling sometimes, it's deeply embarrassing. I really dread most of the “chin up” comments and the “you should do this” comments.
I almost think I mostly just wish for a quiet comradery. Maybe the idea that if somebody knows how much I'm drowning, maybe they'll ask me how I am once in a while rather than assuming I'm always going to be fine.
At any rate, I've been dealing with this flare-up, and it can be hard to do my best work when I'm in that kind of pain. It can also be hard to relax or refresh my mind.
One of the most important habits for writers is to foster our creativity—not only through our own practice of writing and brainstorming, but we also need to consume other people's work as well.
To be a better writer, I need to be reading other stories, watching other stories, and genuinely experiencing life. That's probably why a lot of my writing feels so stale these days (at least, it feels stale to me). I'm so busy with my health that it's hard to get out of that bubble and fill my mind with other things.
I'm trying to do better with that, and look at reading and a even a very general art/pop culture consumption as part of my work.
If it's okay, I thought I might share a few things I've encountered this week with you.
Most of these things are not new —not by a longshot. Even so, they've become these little shots of creative sunshine I like to take when I need a boost.
1.) Internet Drama Songs
Recently, somebody asked me if I'd heard about this guy who makes little music videos with “internet drama/arguments” he finds online. I never heard of this before, so it was a real treat. It felt good to laugh so hard about how ridiculous we humans can be online. (I'm pretty sure we can all be a bit wacko.)
2.) Jimmy Fallon’s Kid Theater
If you go to YouTube and search for “Jimmy Fallon Kid Theater,” you'll pull up a handful of funny videos. I've watched these a lot when I need a laugh. In my opinion, the best skits are the ones with Jack Black and Matthew McConaughey. Tom Hanks and Michael Keaton are pretty hilarious, too. I don't recommend the one with Madonna, however. Omg, that one's terrible.
Basically, Jimmy and the guest actor read scripts written by grade school children based on the name of a recent film.
Sophie thinks the skits are hilarious and always wishes she could write a few skits for the show.
3.) Jack Black singing Peaches
As long as we're bringing up Jack Black, we might as well hit another brief funny moment with the guy. Sophie and I were big fans of last year's Super Mario Bros movie, and thought Jack Black was great as Bauser. We loved how Jack and the crew made a silly music video to go along with the movie because it shows what's so great about Jack Black's humor—he's not afraid to laugh at himself.
4.) The Little Prince, read by Down To Sleep Extra
These aren't all funny links, but creative ones. I'm a big fan of creative books and sleep stories to help you fall asleep. So, this video combines two of my favorite things.
Have you ever read The Little Prince? We don't have a copy at home yet, but I read the little book years ago, and I loved it. I also love how much Fred Rogers loved it, too. Often, when Mister Rogers was asked to give a speech, he would mention something about the lessons in this book, particularly how “what's essential is invisible.”
He even had the quote posted in his home and work offices.
It's an idea I find myself revisiting constantly as I'm trying to navigate my battle with my health while trying to take back my life and figure out how to best use my writing in my career.
By the way, Down to Sleep/Down to Sleep Extra is such a great set of YouTube channels—not only if you're looking for a great reading to help you relax and fall asleep. It's a nice way to recall some long lost stories, too. The guy who does the readings is also on Patreon for folks who want to support his great work and get even more options.
Also, Netflix made their own iteration of The Little Prince some years back. You might want to check it out if you missed that.
5.) Remember that swimming cat?
A few posts back, I shared a photo and link about this adorable rescue cat getting water therapy for exercise. Later, I found a video about it on Instagram!
What can I say? When I need a little boost, just watching this sweet cat's face helps.
6.) It also helps to feel seen.
This obviously isn't a funny, particularly creative, or even uplifting post… but I'd say it's a good one for lipedema patients and those who love them.
It's difficult to articulate how damaging hustle culture can be for folks with a chronic illness, and lipedema is no exception. It can be hard to explain to other people how much my lipedema and lipo-lymphedema impacts my daily life, and it can be hard for them to see why I can't “hustle” with my writing like I used to.
Living with a chronic illness is exhausting. Trying to get my health to a more manageable place while also trying to support myself and Sophie when the financial, mental, and physical demands seem to keep growing—that's a lot. I often feel very alone about it, or really embarrassed to be struggling so much with everything on my plate.
Sometimes, it helps just to encounter a message like this and feel a little bit SEEN. I get so tired of feeling like a failure when I can't keep up with the hustle. It's nice to know that somebody out there understands how hustle culture hurts us.
Thank you for this. I’m one of those who needed to hear that telling someone that “it’ll be okay” or giving unasked for advice is not helpful. I think people say these things because we just don’t know what else to say.